Sports

Sucks to Shuck: #GetFuckedNebraska

#GetFuckedPennState

#GetFuckedIU

The American Foundation for the Blind supports the NFL replacement referees.

#GetFuckedBC

Mistaking any guard from an elite academic institution for Jeremy Lin, the New York Knicks signed John Shurna.

Vanderbilt University football maintains its baby seal clubbing program despite brewing controversy.

Evander Jones notifies Vanderbilt of the #GetFuckedVandy campaign.

Get PUMPED for football season with our line-by-line analysis of “Put Your Hands Up in the Air!”

SUCK IT WORLD: What the United States winning the Olympics means for us.

Northwestern football powertrips into the 21st century with its new uniforms.

The NCAA reaffirms its commitment to academics with today’s punishment of Penn State.

An open letter to my unborn grandson explaining the sport of football.

If only the Supreme Court was more like the BCS, oh what a country we’d have.

Instead of previewing the Kentucky Derby, Parrty Cat and Ross Packingham team up to imagine if the name of every horse competing in the Kentucky Derby actually referred to a sexual maneuver.

If Beach Volleyball no longer requires bikinis, then there is no other option than to boycott the 2012 Summer Olympics.

Northwestern would be doing soooooo well right now in Sir Edward Twattingworth’s alternate March Madness universe.

Brother Jürgen Taintsdorf asks the perennial question: What the f**k are the Miami Heat wearing!?

Guys. Drop everything. Alex Morgan posed for SI. WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES AT ALL COVERING HER BEAUTIFUL BODY!!!

Doctor Tattersail’s four greatest sports that, if they existed, would kick ass.

Our latest writer Brother Jürgen Taintsdorf on other things David Stern should veto.

The pros and cons of the NBA lockout cancelling the 2011-2012 season.

Sir Edward Twattingworth III’s guide to the Super Bowl is like our Freshman Guide, but with less references to drilldos.

Sir Edward Twattingworth III’s reaction to the recent scandals breaking at Penn State and Syracuse.

The Ave’s resident athletics expert Sir Edward Twattingworth III breaks down how to properly attend a Northwestern sporting event.

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