Archive by Author

Album Review: Brown Sugar’s “Zamaane”

22 May

Zamaane

Some say that a cappella at Northwestern is like the TV show Glee. But that can’t be, because the kids on Glee bagged football players and couldn’t drink for shit, which we all know doesn’t hold true for acca-biddies and acca-bros at Northwestern.

Others posit that a cappella at Northwestern is more like Community. Marginally popular–but not enough to get people to care enough to watch every performance–and irrationally beloved among the theater community.

While all these theories and more may be true, it’s clear after the first listen that Brown Sugar‘s latest album Zamaane situates Brown Sugar as the Mad Men of a cappella at NU: Genre-defining, poignant, sexy in all the right places, and best after a glass of scotch or five.  Just so long as you ignore the fact that the Mad Men cast is more white-washed than Mitt Romney’s book group and Brown Sugar is, well, the nation’s premiere co-ed South Asian collegiate a cappella group.

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7 Other Positions ASG Failed to Confirm

15 May
ASG_Logo

One Northwestern. One Shitshow.

In the wake of a heated Associated Student Government Senate meeting last Wednesday night, ASG President Ani Ajith is scrambling to fill numerous vacancies for cabinet positions left unconfirmed following the acrimonious session. While ASG‘s failure to confirm the chief of staff, vice president for public relations and associate vice president for diversity and inclusion positions for political, racial, and fecal reasons received wide coverage, the following seven essential positions also remain unconfirmed.

1. Smash Mouth’s slot at Dillo Day
Despite widespread support for the 1990s pop-rock band’s appointment to Dillo Day‘s traditional “Bands-You-Listened-To-In-Middle-School-Nostalgic-Daytime Slot,” the selection committee’s nomination was blocked by senate vote following a contentious floor debate. Bobb senator Biff Pemberton expressed concern with the band’s rumored appointment, claiming that the band “just wasn’t experienced enough” for the responsibility of performing for thousands of drunken college kids. Pemberton went on to filibuster the proceedings, playing Smash Mouth’s 2005 Christmas album Gift of Rock on repeat for eight-hours nonstop.

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An Evening With George Saunders

7 May
This guy.

This guy.

Yesterday, Northwestern University’s Contemporary Thought Speaker Series brought best-selling author George Saunders to campus to close out its three-speaker series on the value of a university education in the 21st century.[1]

The Contemporary Thought Speaker Series—known by a very select few as the “intellectual equivalent of Dillo Day,” and by slightly more as “Nerdfest 2K13”—managed to bring out Northwestern’s cardigan-clad intelligentsia from the darkest depths of Unicorn Café to hear the rising literary rock star speak his mind on the moral responsibilities of an educated student. A full Harris Hall gazed intently at two spindly chairs positioned uncomfortably close together on the Harris Hall stage for the writer to bestow his intellectual heft upon us all.

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The Kentucky Derby Trip is Decadent and Depraved

2 May

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Sherman Ave countercultural correspondent Evander Jones recounts last year’s drunken, debauched scene at the infield of Churchill Downs.

I GOT OFF the charter bus around midnight and no one spoke as I walked into the Seymour, Indiana Days Inn. The air was thick and hot, like wandering into the men’s bathroom of the Keg. Inside, people hugged each other and shook hands … big grins and a whoop here and there: “By God! You old bastard! Come here bro.”

In the air-conditioned lounge I met an Econ major who said his name was something or other — “but just call me Jimbo” — and he was here to get it on. “I’m ready for anything, by God! Anything at all. Yeah, what are you drinkin?” I ordered a Margarita with ice, but he wouldn’t hear of it: “Naw, naw … what the hell kind of drink is that for Kentucky Derby time? What’s wrong with you, boy?” He grinned and winked at the bartender. “Goddam, we gotta educate this boy. Get him some good whiskey … “

I shrugged. “Okay, a double Old Fitz on ice.” Jimbo nodded his approval.

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Dumbledore Excited for Another Gay Wizard

29 Apr
Jason Collins, showing off his Fidelius Charm.

Jason Collins, showing off his Fidelius Charm.

LIMBO–Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, former headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, expressed his excitement this afternoon that another wizard, Washington Wizards center Jason Collins, had come out as gay.

In a press conference at the mystical limbo-like Kings Cross, the founder of the Order of the Phoenix congratulated the NBA journeyman Collins for becoming the first openly gay athlete in one of the four North American major sports leagues, writing, “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but even more to be gay in the NBA. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. Except Dennis Rodman.”

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Meet the ASG Candidates: Ani and Alex

17 Apr

Earlier this week, Sherman Ave reached out to the four ASG presidential tickets asking to interview them. All four tickets were gracious enough to accept; this is the final of four interviews. Look for more #ASJizz013 coverage to come.

Ani, debating Alex on his pro-Student Life views.

Ani, debating Alex on his pro-choice Student Life views.

What’s your favorite shitty beer, or assuming you’re not 21, what hypothetically would be your favorite shitty beer, and what does that tell us about you?

Alex: Hmm, if I had to choose just one, I’d probably go with PBR. I don’t think it would be my drink of choice for a nice Friday night, but it has the right mixture of cheap, affordability, and taste to get you through that point in life. If you choose to.

Ani: Hypothetically, if I were to be a legal beer fan, then Busch Light. That’s what I’ve heard at least. I’d assume that it tastes like you’d expect beer of it’s ilk to taste. And it comes in these large cases, that are ridiculously low-priced–as I’ve seen, and not purchased. So I can only assume as to the quality of it. I’ve seen people react to it in strange and odd ways, in basements and in crowded rooms. Something magical. What does it taste like?

So I’m just curious, Ani. How many people did you have to ask until Alex finally agreed to become your VP?

Ani: It’s funny, because I was asked by someone else to be their ASG candidate. I don’t want to reveal who. But I’ve worked with all of them before, all the other candidates. Alex and I, we were first choices for both of us. It really is about the chemistry between the pairs as well. Literally, we share calendars.

Alex: It’s kind of creepy. Buuuutt, it’s necessary.

Ani: There’s always that thing, ‘Where are you!? Oh wait, I already know. Never mind.’ But you’re working for the next year with this person. You’re working very closely. It’s not just about sharing an office, it’s about sharing calendars, it’s about sharing a mission in life, oh God it sounds like we’re getting married.

Alex: My girlfriend kind of thinks so. But…

Ani: It’s also about the shared values. Alex and I, we’re from two different worlds. Like literally two different worlds. I’m a guy, I was born in Bangalore, India. I’ve lived in Vietnam and the U.S., in Arizona  and North Carolina and Texas.

Alex: And my family has been in Ohio since the late 1700s. So… pretty different.

Ani: But it’s amazing. We’ve been brought together at Northwestern, we share similar values regarding what this community has. We’ve met amazing people. We have relationships with many of them, many of whom are listed on our website. People who we’ve actually worked with and not just, you know, pretended to.

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Meet the ASG Candidates: Aaron and Henry

17 Apr

Earlier this week, Sherman Ave reached out to the four ASG presidential tickets asking to interview them. All four tickets were gracious enough to accept; this is part three of four. Look for the final interview to come later in the day.

Aaron and Henry: Befriending popos and pitbulls

Aaron and Henry: Befriending popos and pitbulls

What is your favorite shitty beer, and what does it tell us about you?

Henry: Do I have to answer this question if I’m not 21?

So assuming you were hypothetically of-age, what do you think your favorite shitty beer would be?

Henry: Natural Light for sure. No question.

Aaron: I’d say PBR. Now that I’m 21 I like to go to Wob.

But you can’t get PBR at Wob!

Aaron: No PBR there. So I get whatever’s on tap. Like a Dark Ale.

Henry: So there’s a way that I want to answer this question, but I feel like it’s incriminating. But I would go on to tell you some stories.

Aaron: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Continue reading 

8 Notes on the Boston Marathon Bombing

16 Apr

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  1. I first found out about the Boston Marathon bombings while I was on my way out of one class and on the way to another. There’s something fundamentally weird about hearing of a probable terrorist attack through your ESPN app. When I arrived at my next class, the instructor asked us all to forget about the events in Boston for an hour and a half and try and focus on the course material at hand. It was impossible. I was able to make it through most of the class passing between the readings and coverage of the events, but I lost it while reading a tweet about marathon runners continuing to run to Mass General to donate blood. I think the professor saw me.
  2. After class, I purchased a six-pack of Sam Adams and T.G.I. Fridays-brand potato skins for dinner. It seemed like a stoic move at the time, a way to show support for such a beloved and beleaguered city while proclaiming my Americanism. I’m now not so sure about it. Continue reading 

Keg Week 2013: The Eulogy

8 Apr
Tonight, we're popping popcorn in your honor.

Tonight, we’re popping popcorn in your honor.

One week ago Sunday, The Keg of Evanston closed its doors for the very last time. Tonight we conclude our Keg Week 2013 with what may–for better or worse–be the very last article we ever post about TKOE.

At this point, more words have been spilled over that shit-hole Evanston bar than Bud Light out of a big cup. Don’t worry, this epitaph will be about as brief as a dance floor hookup, and hopefully a shade less awkward.

Think of all the geographic locations pertaining to Northwestern. The Arch. The Rock. The Frat Quad. The Black House. Willard. Searle Hall. The Lakefill. Tech. Norris. Ryan Field. The Steam Tunnels. Deering. CVS. The Howard El Stop. That One Bench You Totally Made Out On With Your PA.

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Roger Ebert Awards Heaven 3 1/2 Stars

4 Apr
Ebert, announcing his upcoming show "Ebert Presents: At the Afterlife"

Ebert, announcing his upcoming show “Ebert Presents: At the Afterlife”

PEARLY GATES — Immediately upon ascending to heaven following his death at the age of 70, esteemed film critic Roger Ebert issued a review of the afterlife, awarding metaphysical transcendence from the earthly realm 3 and a half out of four stars.

Ebert, one of the nation’s most prominent and influential reviewers of film for over 40 years, praised heaven in his nationally syndicated Chicago Sun-Times review as a “divine paradise” that “was of the utmost quality and well-suited for its prospective audience. I would highly recommend spiritual nirvana to any potential heaven-goer considering stopping in for a good time.”

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