EVANSTON — Move over, Pippa Middleton! Jennifer Lawrence, shining star of the Hunger Games, has verbally agreed to remove her shirt in Ross Packingham’s wet dream, scheduled for release next Friday night.
“Just the shirt, please dear god,” Lawrence allegedly said. “Anything else and I’d be really really uncomfortable.”
The agreement was made late on New Year’s Eve, when Lawrence was extremely intoxicated. It states that Packingham is allowed to imagine Lawrence removing any clothing articles she may be wearing above the waist, on the condition that he also fantasizes her lower half locked in a chastity belt guarded by a tracker jacker nest, and that he is absolutely prohibited from imagining himself touching her “at all anywhere ever ever ohmygod ewww.”
The lovely Lawrence reportedly brandished a quiver of arrows and stated that if Packingham makes one more goddamn request for full nudity via the Sherman Ave twitter account, he would “find my shafts lodged up his shaft.”
Packingham could not be reached for comment, as he was violently fapping to the thought of JLaw’s yabos. Rumor has it that in Packingham’s as-yet-unpublished Hunger Games fanfiction, tentatively titled District 69, a new character named Boss Peckerslam homewrecks Katniss Everdeen’s marriage to Peeta Mellark.