Irvine, CA – Taco Bell CEO Greg Creed announced earlier this afternoon that the fast food restaurant chain was planning to open 75 new locations in Colorado and Washington.
The move comes as a shock to many, especially considering that much of the company’s annual budget has already been exhausted promoting and debuting the “Doritos Locos” taco.
“I will admit that, while we do feel this move is strategic, it is also sudden,” explained Creed. “We’re acting upon a very reliable and certain recommendation from our marketing department, which has spent the last several years analyzing the market for food that is inexpensive but still delicious. However, they recently shifted their focus to the market for food that is just inexpensive, and we feel that entering that market is a shrewd financial play.”
Creed added: “Besides, there’s no good Mexican food in Colorado.”
Residents of the two states have demonstrated mixed reactions to this announcement, but there are an overwhelming number of proponents of the expansion.
“This is, like, seriously awesome,” stated Spruce Thompson, a 32-year-old unemployed resident of Boulder, Colorado. “Especially if there’s a Taco Bell, like downstairs. Oh man. I would go there all the time. Remember how cool that chihuahua was when he advertised for Taco Bell? Seriously unbelievable. Talking Chihuahua, that stuff’s brilliant. Blew my mind.”
No other residents of Boulder could be reached for questioning.