You can count on one hand the number of things that occur once every four years: the election of American presidents and Leap Years. Probably some other stuff too, but who cares. Anyway, that means today is a cause for celebration. What’s the best way to recognize this holiday? Here’s how:
1. Apply to be a Sherman Ave writer
Yes, yes, I know. CTECs are finally up for winter quarter, but lo and behold, I have an even better way for you to procrastinate on your Buddhist Psychology homework: join us! That’s right: for the second time ever, you can apply to work at the fourth greatest NU-centric blog ever created by Evander Jones! If you still need to be convinced (in which case, what?) check out these reasons. See you soon.
2. Learn about Gioachino Rossini
Who the fuck is Gioachino Rossini, you ask? That’s a great question, the same question I asked when I first booted up Google at 2 am this morning to search “Jason Williams Sacramento Kings jersey.” But unlike that cool interactive Jules Verne logo from last year, this stupid cross-dressing frog drawing doesn’t tell me anything about this fucking Rossini person. Neither does a 3.215 second scan of the search results. Make this your leap day project.*
3. Get ready for DM
There are two possibilities: either you’re going to be dancing for 30 hours this weekend, or you’re not. So you’re either a saintly martyr, or you’re an abominable twat who doesn’t care about children. Either way, you should spend Leap Day preparing for this incredible weekend. If you’re a dancer, it’s OUTFIT TIME (dig up those Superman pajama pants for the Heroes block, you know the drill). If you’re not…start following @NBNtweetsDM. As the Fates from Hercules once described the future of indoor plumbing, “it’s gonna be big.”
4. Work on your Enterprise Story
What’s that, you’re not a Medilldo? Well, fuck you, because we have to work on gigantic enterprise projects that are due two days after DM.** If you are a Medilldo, cry. If you’re not, please remove all razorblades from your immediate vicinity.
5. Be Happy!
Despite all the stuff I just mentioned about enterprise stories and all the stuff I didn’t mention about alarm clocks not working and Snooki’s pregnancy and fast-approaching Finals week and everything else…it was sunny and 60 degrees outside only a couple of hours ago! If you’re reading this, shame on you, you should be running around outside in shorts singing “Life’s A Happy Song” by The Muppets and reveling in the magic of Leap Day! At least until approximately 9:43 pm, when the real world returns in all its atrocious suckiness and Northwestern breaks your heart yet again.
*Or don’t, because again, nobody gives a flying fuck about Gioachino Rossini