Welcome to the Culinary Dorm Corner

8 Jan

Welcome to the Culinary Dorm Corner, otherwise known as the place to which people will inevitably flock when they hear you have something free to eat.

Labor went into that. It’s not free.

Don't forget to butter up.

But you say you can’t cook? HAVE NO FEAR! The honorable Professor J. Reginald Vandernips is here to help. Be it a romantic time outside of the low-cost date-worthy-atmosphere of the Willard dining hall, or just a quick munchie between orgo and bio (Bless your heart), I’ve got you covered.

So let’s start with something low-key, easy as fuck, and FREE.

Let’s talk about the parfait. There’s a reason that the word “parfait” is French for “perfect.” We’ve got fruit, yogurt, granola, a possibility of ice cream… The cooking gods would be proud. So now you’ve got two options to work with: Healthy (fuck that, you’re in college) or Tasty.

We know what I’ll choose, so find a dining hall with a salad bar, soft serve machine, and a cereal station. Luckily for you, that’s everywhere! Just snag yourself a cup and head over to the yogurt or the soft serve. If you’re going to the ice cream, you’ll want to get vanilla, unless you’re one of those people that put chocolate on everything you can think of.

Basically you’re going to layer ice cream and/or yogurt with fruit from the salad bar (where the yogurt usually is also) and possibly the strawberry syrup from the ice cream section until you get to just under the top. Then head over to the cereal. You may not have your conventional Grape Nuts or granola (or Meusli, if you’re a pretentious fuck) so you can make do with barely crushed Cheerios (they’re an oat cereal anyway) or Captain Crunch.

What the fuck did you say about my cooking?

Chances are that you won’t be able to taste the cereal anyway. It’s just for the crunch.

Alternatively, when it comes to quick dining hall cup desserts you can go for the classic Coke/ Root Beer float. Load that shit up, grab a spoon, get to your table and make everyone jealous for your ingenuity.

Happy Eating!

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One Response to “Welcome to the Culinary Dorm Corner”

  1. Eddie Lakin January 8, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

    I totally did this when I was in college! It’s the best. My college’s salad bar also had salted redskin peanuts on it, which made a great addition to the parfait. You guys rock!

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